Every once in a while, you do need to pause and then start moving on again. We always do need to reflect on our past, and prepare to our future. This "pause" time can be a minute or an hour, it doesn't matter how long do you sit in silence and think. The only thing that really matters is feeling accomplished and content, to have a roadmap to follow afterwards.
At some point in my life, I felt that I don't belong to where I am. I am creating no memories, I do feel that I am a machine in a factory that is full of another machines that only focuses on the end results. I do arrive to the office at 7:40 AM and I do stay there till 4:00 PM at least, with no bonding or talking or relations built. I am a machine! That only wake up .. work .. sleep. And have no energy to any further activity. Then, I paused for a moment.
Isn't this the multinational I kept asking to join?
Isn't this the marketing department that I kept chasing?
Isn't this the position that I've kept asking for and dreaming of?
What have happened to be so down?
Down to the extent that I have started missing out opportunities to shine, I have started to double my work effort because I can't focus on the quality and I am only driven by the deadline. During this pause, I have found the answer to my WHYs? I believe I was overwhelmed to the extent I misinterpreted the whole meaning of working and creating a career. I was treating my 8 to 4 working schedule so hard. To the extent that I do squeeze everything to my to-do list for the day despite the fact that there are a lot of days to come. I have to meet all the deadlines despite the quality of the work I do. I have to finish the unfinished tasks despite I do really understand the end goal or not.
Then, I have decided to move on. I have left everything behind, and started a whole new life chapter within the same department in the same multinational but with a total different mindset. I have started to take short breaks every now and then, just for casual chats. I have introduced myself to a bunch of really good people that we share our morning coffee and breaks together on daily basis. I have started to focus on every task, and create a well divided work schedule. I have started to take the time to reflect and learn on daily basis. Now, I do feel both accomplished and content. And this is reflected in how I do handle my life right now. This is reflected in how I have developed from a caterpillar to a butterfly. This is reflected in how I do create time to do different things other than work (aka. blogging, volunteering, spending quality time with my family). Now, I do believe that I am the choices, the places, the jobs, the friends, the people, the vibes I chose.
I chose to love my work.
I chose to love the people around me.
I chose to contribute more to the community.
I chose to create a room for more daily activities.
I chose to count all of blessings that I name a normal life.
I chose to read more books, listen to more songs, watch more films.
My advice is to keep your ambitions crystal clear, you can only do this through taking pauses to question the WHYs and then move on with your plan. Every while you need to keep yourself reminded of the reasons why.
" Love what you do and do it really well."